Anxiety. Nervousness. Fear. These were common feelings for me during the dreaded two weeks between the embryo transfer to the first blood result. There was no easy way around it since we knew there was a firm date, set in stone, for us to get the result and that there was nothing we could do to expedite it.

Of course we followed all medical recommendations for this period but we have also tried many things, right or wrong, during our many trials, to anticipate the results… Of course we have done the over-the-counter pregnancy tests before, even though the doctors didn’t recommend it as all the meds and hormones could have lead to a false result. Of course we have relied on our faith, even though we have also consulted with many oracles and future-tellers. Of course we have consulted with Dr. Google, PHD every time we’ve heard a different tale about the “one thing” a friend of a friend did that made all the difference… But the reality was that no matter what we did, we had to wait for those two weeks to pass… And it was tough.

As the hormones kicked-in, my wife’s body changed. But was that because she was getting pregnant or was it because of the side effects of the progesterone? Was she cramping because the embryo was developing or was it because it was not? Was she getting nauseous because of the meds or was it because this was in fact a pregnancy? Should she have carried that small grocery bag or was that too much exercise? How much was enough rest? Questions, questions and, when there were no more questions, doubts, doubts, doubts… These two weeks were a bit maddening…

The best thing we have done so far to ease the anxiety was NOT to tell to as many people as possible about the treatment. This can be hard and sometimes even stressful as my wife and I were suddenly a bit different and reclusive from your normal selves, but it reduced tremendously the pressure on me and, most importantly, on her. We know that everyone we care about will always cheer for us, but the feeling of telling everyone it did NOT worked is horrible. Dealing with our own sadness was hard enough, so dealing with other’s was sometimes unbearable as the inevitable “pity party” or the “cheer-up speeches” would start and make things even harder.  We know those were natural reactions from folks that love us and know our history, but the truth is that “untelling” is hard, so our emotional preservation was proven to be the best strategy to avoid it.