My name is Felipe and these are my thoughts and feelings regarding my wife’s and mine journey dealing with infertility. This exercise is intended to be my own way to come to terms with this painful and long road. And, in doing so, hopefully heal my spirit as I put down my feelings in words.
I will be sharing my perspective on this whole process, and by that I mean the perspective of a healthy male on a long, loving and stable relationship. This is important to note as many think of infertility as a “she issue”, when in fact it can be a “he issue” but, most importantly, it is a “couple’s issue”.
My wife and me, like many couples of our generation, got married late and only begun thinking about having kids when we were both in our thirties. She was 31, I was 35. We were healthy, ate relatively well, had no serious vices, exercised regularly and, more importantly, loved each other more than anything! There was no reason to think or believe that we would have any difficulties in getting pregnant. Up to that point, we took all precautions possible. We were both so sure that we would be parents of many if we did not be extremely careful that, for a while, we used condoms even though my wife was using IDU since she was an adolescent.
Well, not so fast in being so sure…
Fate would have it that our quest to bring a child into our family would be a long one. We have done countless fertilization attempts, tried alternative methods such as acupuncture and cleansing diets, did several cycles of IVF, looked for treatment in two different countries, seek the help of four different specialists, had two miscarriages and one ectopic pregnancy, lost faith, regain faith, lost it again just find it even stronger. Our struggles are not more difficult or different than many, many couples dealing with the same issue. They are just that: our struggles.
Therefore, my intention through these words is not to provide guidance or counsel in this matter, nor to give specific details and facts of our journey. Since there are not many resources I could find that would help guys dealing with infertility, my intent is simply share my feelings during this process and hopefully learn a bit about myself in the process…
Oh, and by the way, after being married since 2002 and having been trying to conceive a child since 2006, My wife and I continue loving, supporting and respecting each other like never before. This entire experience made us closer, stronger and confident that the challenges we face may shape our destinies, but definitely do not define our relationship.
And yes, as I wrote these words, our love and faith made it possible to bring a child into our family!